Although weight gain is probably the number one excuse for allowing ourselves to relapse once we quit, there are plenty of others, and to be successful in the long run, you need to prepare to defuse these potential excuses for relapse once you quit.
Here’s how:
Take a legal pad and sit down someplace quiet where you won’t be disturbed for an hour or so. Think back to the last time you quit: why did you start smoking again? Was it a single event, a series of events, a feeling, or some combination of all the above? List all of the reasons you can think of that contributed to you allowing yourself to justify lighting up again after you quit.
Then, go back to the second-to-last time you quit, and list out the reasons you relapsed that time. Continue this process until you run out of quits or can’t think of any more reasons.
If this is your first quit, the process will be somewhat different for you: instead of listing reasons why you relapsed in the past, imagine reasons why you might relapse in the future. If you’re having a hard time imagining anything that would allow you to justify smoking again after you quit, here are a few common excuses to start the wheels turning:
- I’ve been under so much stress lately
- I really miss smoking when I’m out with my friends
- It’ll just be this one, and then I’m right back to being quit
- I can’t deal with my out of control teenager
- I can control it now (after having been quit for a period of time)
- I can’t seem to relax any more
- I need them for my “me” time
- I can’t fight it any more; I’m just too addicted to quit
- I quit smoking for you and then you do this to me? I’ll show you!
- I’m worthless/Life is hopeless anyway; what’s the point?
- My friends all smoke, and it makes them uncomfortable that I don’t smoke any more
- I’ll quit later; there’s too much going on right now
- I’m such a [bitch|sonofabitch] since I quit; I should just go back to smoking
- I’m just not myself if I’m not smoking
- My brain doesn’t work right when I’m not smoking
- My [wife|husband|girlfriend|boyfriend] smokes; why can’t I?
- I can quit anytime I want to; smoking is just a bad habit
- If I could just have one puff, it would [calm me down|perk me up|help me relax|help me concentrate|get past this stress]
I’m sure you can come up with many more if you spend a bit of time thinking about it.
Now, go through your list and decide for each one if it’s actually true, and if true, is it sufficient to justify going back to smoking, or is it just an excuse? Here’s a hint: any “reason” that’s based on a false premise is really just an excuse, and probably most reasons that actually are true are not sufficient reason to justify going back to smoking.
Let’s take two examples from the list I made above:
“I’ve been under so much stress lately.”
While it may be true that you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, the underlying premise that makes it an excuse for relapse is that smoking will help relieve that stress. This is absolutely not true; smoking will actually just create more stress.
Smoking will start the addiction cycle again: as soon as you put this cigarette out, the nicotine level in your bloodstream will start to fall, and within a half an hour or so, you’ll be craving another one. That craving in turn creates stress which can only be relieved by smoking another cigarette, and as soon as you put that one out, the nicotine level in your bloodstream will start to fall, and before you know it you’ll be craving another one… but you know how this works already, don’t you?
“I really miss smoking when I’m out with my friends.”
This may be true, but is it a sufficient reason for you to go back to smoking? If your friends were indulging in some other self-destructive behavior (like drinking and driving), would it be OK for you to do it too, just because they were? (I can hear my mom right now: “If your friends jumped off of a bridge, would you jump with them?” ;)) In this case, maybe what you need to do is not go out with your friends until your quit is feeling more solid. Or maybe go out with your friends, but only to places where there’s no smoking allowed.
Now that you have the idea, go through your list and think about each item on it: is it actually true? If it is, is it sufficient reason to throw away your freedom?
Answer in the comments below: what are some of the reasons you’ve used to throw away your quit before (or what are some of the reasons you can see yourself maybe using to throw this one away)? Were they/are they true? If they were/are true, were they/are they sufficient reasons to justify going back to smoking? Why/why not?