Addicts like us are great at inventing rationalizations (otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to continue our self-destructive behavior), and a big part of recovery is getting honest with ourselves and rooting out those rationalizations.
One of our favorite rationalizations is “it’s just a bad habit.” And while it’s true that habit is a big component of smoking, and I don’t think anyone would argue that smoking is a bad habit, it’s much more than that: the primary reason we smoke is because we’re addicted to nicotine.
So, one of the first things we need to get honest with ourselves about is that we are addicts. Are you denying it to yourself right now? Maybe you’re unaware that nicotine is more addictive than alcohol, heroin, or cocaine? If you’ve ever been to an Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meeting you know it’s true.
Could You walk Away Right Now?
But that’s other people, right? Maybe you’re one of those rare individuals (less than 1% of smokers) who smoke regularly but are not addicted. Here’s a little thought experiment for you: could you put your cigarettes down right this minute, walk away, and never look back? Never give them another thought?
If you answered “yes” to that question, then why haven’t you walked away already? (Listen carefully to your thoughts right now: the rationalizations are flying by at the speed of light. Pay attention. Write them down. You need to deal with these.)
Chances are pretty good that if you’re reading this, you can’t honestly answer “yes” to the question above. But chances are that you answered “yes” anyway. And when I challenged you to say why you haven’t walked away from smoking already, your mind came up with a whole string of rationalizations (“it’s just a bad habit”; “I can give them up any time I want to”; “it’s the one guilty pleasure I have left”; and so on).
What Are Your Rationalizations?
You’ve probably heard them all before. But now you need to pay attention to them. Write them down, think about them, and understand them for what they are: the flimsy excuses of an addict in denial. By writing them down and thinking about them, you’re taking the first step in destroying their power over you. Because now, every time you hear yourself start to use one of them as a reason for continuing to smoke, or as an excuse to relapse once you quit, you’ll know it for what it is.
The next step is to think about what uncomfortable truth each of your rationalizations is covering up for. Then, whenever you hear one pop into your head, you can immediately counter it with the truth.
For example, one of the most popular rationalizations for putting off quitting at all is, “I can quit any time I want to.” But is that really true? If you really could quit whenever you wanted to, why are you still smoking? The truth is you’re still smoking because you can’t quit any time you want to: you’re an addict, and you feel compelled to feed your addiction.
Another big rationalization for not even trying goes something like this: “So many people fail, what’s the point of even trying?” While it’s true that a large percentage of people who try to quit fail, the bigger truth is that statistics only apply to groups. Your chances of success are 100%, as long as you make the right choices.
Another big one is blaming your addiction on someone else (“Big Tobacco got me hooked with their advertising”; “the government shouldn’t allow them to sell these things”; “all my friends smoke”; etc.); after all, if it’s somebody else’s fault that you’re hooked on these things, what’s the point of trying?
The Truth Will Set You Free
This is where you have to really get honest with yourself: you, and you alone, are responsible for feeding your addiction. Big Tobacco can’t force you to light that next cigarette and inhale their poison. If the government made cigarettes illegal, you’d figure out where to get them anyway. And if all your friends quit, you’d smoke alone.
It’s always your choice. And you have to take responsibility for your choices. If you simply chose not to feed your addiction any more, cigarettes would have no more power over you.
What are some of the rationalizations you’ve used before? What rationalizations can you picture coming up for you as you prepare to quit? How about after you quit? What rationalizations can you imagine using to relapse?