Has this ever happened to you? You’ve been quit for some time — maybe even a fairly long time, like a year — and you think you’ve pretty much got it all under control; you rarely even think about smoking any more. Then, one day, you walk by the smoking area at work, or you see a group of friends standing together smoking, and, instead of feeling sorry for them, you want to join them.
You stand there, breathing in the smoke, and even though for the longest time you felt nothing but disgust whenever you smelled people smoking, this time it smells good. So good that it makes you want to join your friends. So good that it makes you want to go over and bum one.
So good that you start to feel like you want one so bad you can taste it…
But There’s Another Part of You
But there’s another part of you that says, “Yeah, I want one right now, but I sure don’t want all the crap that comes with it.” And so, you stand there, angel on one shoulder, devil on the other, having this internal argument: “want one so bad I can taste it“, “don’t want all the crap that comes with it“, “want one so bad“, “don’t want all the crap“, “want one“…
If you’re like me (at least, in all my previous quits but this one), eventually, the little devil wins out and you go bum one, thinking, “Oh, what the hell! I’ve been quit this long; it won’t hurt to have just one.”
But you’re wrong.
Dead wrong. Just like all the other times before. There is no such thing as one. If you take one back, you have to take them all back.
You can tell just by the fact that you were even having the internal argument described above that there are two distinct entities at work here: the "inner junkie" (the one who’s saying, "want one. want it bad.") and the rational adult (the one who’s saying "don’t want all the crap that comes with it.").
The thing is, addictions don’t die. They only go dormant, and they’re quick to capitalize on a moment of weakness: like a crocodile that can remain absolutely motionless under the water at the river’s edge for days on end and then move with lightning speed to grab its prey as soon as it steps within reach.
Scary prehistoric lizard-brain stuff.
The good news is, the rational adult can beat the lizard every single time, as long as the rational adult remains aware that the lizard is there, waiting, and remains vigilant to stay out of the lizard’s reach.
The bad news is, the inner junkie knows that the lizard is there, too; it just doesn’t care. The inner junkie doesn’t care about consequences; it only cares about feeding the addiction. That’s what it lives for.
This is why the rational adult has to stay in charge.
How will you maintain your awareness of the lizard? And how will you practice vigilance to keep yourself out of the lizard’s reach and not fall prey to the pleas of your inner junkie?