If you’re having a challenge with those internal arguments that never seem to end or resolve (“have to quit smoking” / “scared to quit smoking”; “want to quit” / “don’t want to quit”; “ready to quit” / “not ready to quit”; etc…), it may help if you personify your addiction (I’ve always thought of it as my “inner junkie”); this way, you can put some distance between yourself and your addiction.
Because you are not your addiction.
You see, there’s a part of you (your inner junkie) that has only one objective: getting its next fix. Your inner junkie will do anything to get that next fix, and it can be very persuasive. Also, it helps to realize that there are times when the inner junkie works double overtime, and when you’re getting ready to quit is one of those times; if it can keep you from quitting in the first place, it won’t ever have to go without its next fix.
Separate Yourself from Your Addiction
A lot of people get derailed at this point, and one reason is that they don’t separate themselves from their addiction; they think that any thought of wanting to continue to smoke (or of not being ready to quit, or of not being able to quit, or any other similar, self-defeating thought), is coming from themselves, when in fact, it’s coming from their inner junkie.
You wonder, “Why are my thoughts arguing with me like this?” Actually, they’re not; your inner junkie is arguing with you. Your thoughts are: “I’m done with this; I’m taking control of my life back from this addiction.” But the inner junkie is working double overtime to psyche you out, to make you put it off, to plant the seed of doubt… anything, as long as you don’t actually end up quitting.
How to See Through Your Inner Junkie’s Tricks
Here’s a rule of thumb: any time you have the slightest doubt that maybe now’s not the best time, or maybe you’re not quite ready, or maybe you can’t do this; any time that you have the slightest thought that continuing to smoke wouldn’t be such a bad idea; you can be sure that these ideas are coming from the inner junkie, and you can start practicing right now telling it “no“.
Be the Adult
The inner junkie is kind of like a teenager that wants something you don’t think they should have; it’ll beg, plead, scream, throw things, slam doors, hold its breath, call you names, scream “you hate me!” (or “I hate you!!”) and generally do everything in its power to make your life miserable until you give in and give it what it wants (in the inner junkie’s case, until you give in and feed the addiction).
But you are the adult. And adults are in charge. Adults make the rules. If you just keep saying “no”, without getting upset, it will eventually realize it’s not going to get what it wants and it will stop trying.
The Inner Junkie Only Has the Power You Give It
Happily, the one place where the analogy of the parent and the teenager totally breaks down is this: the inner junkie must obey you; it has no way of getting what it wants except convincing you to give in, and as long as you don’t do that, it can’t hurt you.
So, learn to say, “No. You can’t have that.”
And mean it.